20 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (June 11-17)

Marriage – the ultimate adventure in love, laughter, and learning to tolerate each other’s snoring. This week, Twitter was filled with hilarious takes on married life, and we’ve rounded up the best of the best for your entertainment.

From the relatable struggles of household chores to the ridiculous arguments that can ensue over the most mundane things, these tweets will have you nodding your head in solidarity and chuckling out loud.

1. “I love how my husband thinks he’s ‘helping’ by putting the dishes in the dishwasher, but really he’s just rearranging the dirty dishes to make it look like he did something.” – @SarahSass22

2. “Marriage is just a series of negotiations. ‘I’ll do the laundry if you take out the trash.’ ‘Deal, but only if you cook dinner tonight.'” – @MarriageGoals101

3. “Why do husbands think they can ‘surprise’ us by doing chores? Like, I know you’re just trying to get out of doing them again tomorrow.” – @WifeLifeProbs

4. “I asked my husband to take me out for dinner and he said, ‘How about we just order pizza and watch Netflix?’ I said, ‘That’s not a date, that’s our entire marriage.'” – @JenLovesPuns

5. “I love how my wife thinks I’m ‘lazy’ just because I spend 12 hours a day playing video games. I’m just conserving energy for our next argument.” – @GamingHusband

6. “Why do we still have to argue about who left the cap off the toothpaste? We’ve been married for 10 years. Can’t we just blame the kids?” – @ToothpasteTales

7. “I told my husband I needed some ‘me time’ and he said, ‘Oh, you mean like when I play golf?’ Um, no. That’s just you abandoning me for 5 hours.” – @WifeLifeWins

8. “Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but eventually, you’re just trying not to be the one who makes it all fall apart.” – @MarriageMetaphors

9. “I love how my wife thinks I’m ‘romantic’ just because I brought her coffee in bed. I was just trying to avoid getting yelled at for not making it myself.” – @CoffeeLoverHubby

10. “Why do husbands think they can ‘fix’ everything? Like, I don’t need you to fix the sink, I just need you to call a plumber and pay for it.” – @WifeLifeHacks

11. “I asked my husband to help with the grocery shopping and he said, ‘What’s the password again?’ I said, ‘The password is “I’m an adult, I can make a list”.'” – @GroceryGrievances

12. “Marriage is like a never-ending game of ‘Who Can Be More Passive-Aggressive.’ I’m currently in the lead.” – @PassiveAggressivePro

13. “I love how my wife thinks I’m ‘thoughtful’ just because I remembered to buy her favorite ice cream. I was just trying to avoid getting in trouble for eating the last of it.” – @IceCreamLoverHubby

14. “Why do husbands think they can ‘surprise’ us with a ‘romantic’ dinner, but really it’s just takeout and a tablecloth?” – @RomanticDinner Fail

15. “I told my husband I needed some ‘space’ and he said, ‘Oh, you mean like when I go to the garage to work on my project?’ Um, no. That’s just you abandoning me for 5 hours… again.” – @WifeLifeWins

16. “Marriage is like a never-ending battle of ‘Who Can Be More Right.’ I’m currently losing, but I’m not giving up.” – @RightFighter

17. “I love how my wife thinks I’m ‘helping’ just because I’m sitting on the couch watching her clean. I’m providing moral support… and also taking a nap.” – @CouchWarriorHubby

18. “Why do husbands think they can ‘fix’ our arguments with a simple ‘I’m sorry’? Like, no, I need a 5-star apology with a bouquet of flowers and a homemade dinner.” – @ApologyExpectations

19. “I asked my husband to help with the laundry and he said, ‘What’s the difference between a washer and a dryer?’ I said, ‘One is for washing, and the other is for drying… and also for hiding your dirty socks.'” – @LaundryLies

20. “Marriage is like a never-ending adventure in love, laughter, and learning to tolerate each other’s snoring. And also, who can be more right.” – @MarriageAdventures

There you have it – 20 hilarious tweets that perfectly capture the ups and downs of married life. Whether you’re a newlywed or a seasoned veteran of matrimony, these tweets are sure to make you laugh and nod your head in solidarity.