Moving to France was a dream come true for me and my 8-year-old son. We were ready to embark on a new adventure, embracing the language, food, and way of life that we’d romanticized for years. However, amidst the beautiful landscapes and historic charm, there was one culture shock that completely took us by surprise: the French approach to parenting.
Back in the United States, I was used to the fast-paced, helicopter style of parenting. Every moment of my son’s life was carefully scheduled with playdates, extracurricular activities, and educational outings. I thought this was the gold standard of being a “good parent.” But in France, I quickly learned that my American parenting style stuck out like a sore thumb.
In our small village in Provence, I noticed that French parents seemed more relaxed and less hands-on compared to what I was accustomed to back home. Children played freely in parks without constant supervision. Parents would sit at café terraces enjoying leisurely coffees while their little ones entertained themselves nearby. There were no elaborate schedules or endless lists of structured activities; instead, there was an emphasis on allowing kids to be kids and discover the world at their own pace.
At first, this made me anxious. Was I doing something wrong? Was I neglecting my son’s development? But over time, as I adapted to our new life in France, I began to see the benefits of this laid-back approach. My son became more independent and confident. He learned how to make friends on his own and entertained himself without constantly needing adult intervention.
French schools also echoed this philosophy. The school day included long lunch breaks where children were expected to go home or enjoy their meals at a leisurely pace if they stayed at school. Homework loads were lighter compared to what we experienced in America, allowing more time for family bonding and relaxation after school.
The sense of community in our village also played a significant role. Neighbors looked out for each other’s children, creating an environment where it felt safe for kids to explore their surroundings independently. This strong community support alleviated some of my initial fears about loosening the reins on my son’s activities.
Ultimately, this cultural shift taught me valuable lessons about balance and trust in parenting. While it’s important to guide and nurture our children, allowing them the space to learn from their own experiences is equally crucial. The relaxed French approach made me realize that childhood is as much about exploration and joy as it is about structure and achievement.
So while moving to France came with its share of unexpected challenges, embracing the French style of parenting has been an enriching experience for both me and my son. As we continue our journey here, I’ve found comfort in knowing that sometimes stepping back can help our children step forward with greater independence and resilience.
