1. @dadmann_walking: “Why do kids wake up so early on weekends? Do they have a secret club meeting or something?”
2. @momlikeitshot: “Just walked in on my toddler trying to ‘bake’ his toys in the oven. Guess he wants to have plastic pie for lunch!”
3. @sarcasticmommy4: “I used to be a person with dreams and goals. Now I ask my kids 10 times if they remembered their lunch.”
4. @mommymartyr: “My kid just asked if he could practice screaming louder because ‘it wasn’t loud enough.’ I’m hiding in the bathroom now.”
5. @explodingunicorn: “My daughter thought a fly was her pet and named it Carlos… Then she set it free so it could ‘spread its wings.’ Carlos, we barely knew you.”
6. @outsmartedmommy: “My son asked if he could wear his Halloween costume to the grocery store… It’s June.”
7. @thefunnydad: “Kids are great at re-inventing games; today mine played ‘Is This Edible?’ Spoiler: sometimes, no, it’s not.”
8. @parentnormal: “I just told my child ‘no,’ and now there’s a meltdown happening like I canceled Christmas.”
9. @xplodingunicorn: “My kid asked me if we could have a pet tiger because apparently dogs are too mainstream.”
10. @suburban_momma: “Want to feel smart? Try helping your kid with their 2nd-grade math homework.”
